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The price of this easy access is high. Gun owners and their families are much more likely to kill themselves than are non-gun-owners. A gun in the home raises the suicide risk for everyone: gun owner, spouse and children alike. This stark connection holds true even when other factors are taken into account.

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While gun-suicide rates are higher in rural states, which have proportionally more gun owners, the gun-suicide link plays out in urban areas, too. It was entirely attributable to an increase in suicide by firearms. The scientific study of suicide has partly been an effort to erase myths. Perhaps the biggest fallacy is that suicides are typically long-planned deeds. While this can be true—people who attempt suicide often face a cascade of problems—empirical evidence suggests that they act in a moment of brief but heightened vulnerability.

Asked how much time had passed between when they decided to take their lives and when they actually made the attempt, a startling 24 percent said less than 5 minutes; 48 percent said less than 20 minutes; 70 percent said less than one hour; and 86 percent said less than eight hours. The episodic nature of suicidal feelings is also borne out in the aftermath: 9 out of 10 people who attempt suicide and survive do not go on to die by suicide later. A central tenet of public health is that environment shapes individual behavior.

In the realm of suicide, this truth has played out dramatically in recent history. When widely used lethal means are made less available or less deadly, suicide rates by that method decline, as do suicide rates overall.

Daddy Wake Up! (A short story about the toll of death on children!)

In Sri Lanka, for example, where pesticides are the leading suicide method, the suicide rate fell by half between and , after the most highly human-toxic pesticides were restricted. Similarly, in the United Kingdom before the s, domestic gas derived from coal contained 10 to 20 percent carbon monoxide, and poisoning by gas inhalation was the leading means of suicide. A source of natural gas virtually free of carbon monoxide was introduced in ; over time, as carbon monoxide in gas decreased, so did the number of suicides overall—driven by a drop in carbon monoxide suicides, even as other methods increased somewhat.

But it does save lives by reducing the deadliness of those attempts. Though these basic facts are known, there is a striking dearth of research on guns and suicide. In the U. The survey asked questions about gun ownership in , and, for the last time, in It was HICRC investigators who analyzed this state-level data to show that suicide rates run in tandem with gun ownership rates.

Today, the U.

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Partly as a result of this bureaucratic diligence, the fatality rate from car crashes has dropped by about a third over the last two decades. I think all women, regardless it ethnicity, feel guilt when leaving a relationship but I think our Indian culture specifically add an extra dollop.

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When I first saw the title of this post, I got very frightened….. I thought you were getting ready to break up with us!!!! I recently had a devastating break-up with my husband of 20 years. What I learned during the time that my husband got sick and his process of dying, is that I was very selfish in just about all aspects of our lives.

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Love is an action word, not a description of a feeling. I got to learn so very much. We had the opportunity to talk about our failings right before he passed away, and I so very grateful for that opportunity and the courage it took for us to talk about those things. I was able to apologize…and mean it…and today, I wish like crazy that we had the chance to do it over. But, boy oh boy, did I ever learn alot!!!! During this process, I discovered that even though I kept thinking HE was the toxic one, I had a significant contribution to that toxicity!!!!!

I was the toxic one, too……. Thanks for sharing this Connie. Hi Connie, thanks for sharing your story and also how you got honest with yourself and what you were contributing to the relationship.

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It takes a lot of guts to admit this. I have no doubt that this was a learning and healing journey for you both. Peace and blessings! Wow, wow, wow, Connie. Even in my circumstances domestic violence I had to take a hard look at my responsibility in the dissolving of my marriage. It took a while to make the shift but it was dramatic. My marriage was not salvageable but I was able to take responsibility for my part. What a gift you gave to your husband and to yourself. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Thank you Connie for bringing me back to earth. Thank you. Life simply has a way of jolting us onto our new pathways.


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Embrace it, rejoice in it. The jolt is necessary and in the end, rewarding. It took me three months of writing and crying and writing again and asking those exact questions to finally make a decision to leave. I was so afraid to answer them honestly, but I did live in an alternative reality where my ex was not present.

None of my dreams included him and that was difficult to ignore. And there was other stuff too, of course. I think I exhausted myself into leaving.


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Was the best decision of my life, although it took some serious healing afterwards. Thank you Kris for this inspiring post, I actually look back now and feel proud of myself! Almost 1,5 months ago I split with my business partner. The decision to call it quits was made in my mind quite a while ago, but it took my parents and boyfriend to help me really saying it to her.

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She called me names. See, there was something weird about him not answering his cell in front of me, nor letting me share my relationship with a friend in common, and I knew it, and it let me torn apart. And yet, we stayed together for a year, in a short but exhausting distance relationship.


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I felt relief when he dumped me, and I now have an awesome guy by my side. WOW Kris — soooooooo real, so poignant and so helpful. Thank you for your amazing self awareness and courage in all that you do. It is truly refreshing in a world of folks that are so afraid; afraid to really look at themselves and even more afraid to let others see who they really are.

I so wish the world had more brave souls. But anyway, thank you for all your great work including this very timely article…. Thank you, Kris, for this post. Unlike many who have commented I am in a happy marriage but your comments resonated with me concerning friendships. I have had a long-term friendship with someone who is very confrontational and sees life in black and white. She has strong opinions, is very articulate, and quick with a response. When we are together I feel as if I am constantly on my guard, being careful not to bring up topics that I know she feels passionately about and is unable to see opposing viewpoints.

It can be exhausting. On the other hand, this friend has many lovely qualities. She is loyal, compassionate, and creative.